One of those rare instances when you fervently wish there was a blackout for a few hours, when the popcorn all on a sudden tastes like a bitter brick inside your dry mouth and when the only sound that's familiar to you is 'Ugh', this apology of a movie makes you wish you were on a flaming jet heading for a shark infested sea instead.
'Bullet' is a thoroughly pointless piece of work, that doesn't even leave a beat, forget a bang. Tremendously handicapped by a no-brainer script, director Niszar fires quite a few rounds before realizing that the cartridge is a blank.
There is bound to be an initial curiosity as the camera hovers around a reality show and reveals an objective of unmasking the unthinkable. There are the pretty girls and the lecherous men, the bait and the fish. The savior lies in wait somewhere around the corner, before bashing up the baddies black and blue; Parasurama Bhatteri (Suresh Gopi) sashays in outrageous colors of crimson and cobalt, as the halfway tagline proclaims - 'Interval before Enterwell'.
I just had to hang around to find out what the Enterwell was all about. And I wasn't wrong - there lay quite a few embarrassments in store, far-from-fascinating action scenes galore, and tons of slip-ups extempore. There! At least those rhymes worked.
It would suffice to say that most of the gripping moments in 'Bullet' are side-splitting. The instant you nudge yourself to remain grave, along comes yet another shocker that sends you rolling all over the aisles. It's sad that I feel no better informed if the movie is a comedy or a thriller then. I would admit, I simply don't know.
There's something that I do know though. 'Bullet' hasn't even an inkling as to how the word 'target' is spelt. Because it keeps rattling on and on without any purpose or principle. There are random fights thrown in, abundant skin show and paper-thin characters moving in and out by the dozen.
These are real hard times indeed for Suresh Gopi, as is evident from his two releases in the last couple of weeks. Not long after his weird appearance in 'Pakal Nakshatrangal', the actor descends into further doom with a truly frightful act in 'Bullet,' that draws up hilarity at all the wrong junctures. There's Kalabhavan Mani as well, who in all probability had to cough up his lines all by himself, flabbergasted by the sheer absurdity of what's happening all around.
If there is something really disturbing about this film, it's the runtime. Hobbling on for about one hundred and forty minutes, this is a cinematic misadventure, going by any measure. For there are very few suspects even in this murder mystery that's a terminally ill production where bad timing, worse acting and worst plot devices are together having a blast.
One of those rare instances when you fervently wish there was a blackout for a few hours, when the popcorn all on a sudden tastes like a bitter brick inside your dry mouth and when the only sound that's familiar to you is 'Ugh', this apology of a film makes you wish you were on a flaming jet heading for a shark infested sea instead. Shrill, long-winded and absolutely boring, there's simply no telling how awful this gunshot sounds.
1 out of 5 (Poor)
WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN:
0.0 - 1.4 : Poor
1.5 - 1.7: Poor, A Few Good Parts
1.8 - 2.3: Okay
2.4 - 2.9: Fairly Good
3.0 - 3.4: Good
3.5 - 5.0: Very Good
Other Critic Reviews
An utter bore. Totally insufferable. That's what Bullet is.
By Thomas T