Shhhhh. Don't tell P.J. Hogan and Julia Roberts. But Deepak Ramsay has lifted Hogan's film "My Best Friend's Wedding" and cast Diya Mirza in Ms Roberts' role of the scheming self-serving girl who realises on the eve of her best friend's wedding that she loves him.

Director Ramsay is sold on the idea of relocating the original Hollywood film into Karan Johar-Sanjay Leela Bhansali territory.

And if you think that's a bizarre blend then just watch how the director takes the blend into the bland.

Bits and pieces from Johar's "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai", Aditya Chopra's "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge" and Bhansali's "Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam" and even "Devdas" (look out for the sequence where Rakesh Bapat barges into Neha's wedding chamber) float in and out of this demented drama about two mismatched couples.

By the time the doctored script engineers a disentanglement for the quartet the film has long lost its focus. A wooden Priyanshu Chatterjee and a perky Diya Mirza play Playboy and Playgirl. They even get to sing the same tandem song separately with different partners to prove their promiscuity.

It's not common to come across a Hindi film heroine who actually has a roving eye. Three cheers to Mirza for getting into a raunchy role without resorting to vulgarity.

That's about all this film has to offer in the way of novelty. Most of what follows the initial rush of musical chairs is tryingly unconvincing.

This film's stab at sham sophistication is off-putting.

The ever-dependable Kader Khan is diverting as the Playboy's dad. But what's with Sadasahiv Amrapurkar's character being constantly heckled for his dark skin-tone? Throughout the film he's called "kaaliya", "kallu" and even given an ironical name: I.M Gore (I am white).

I remember Amrapurkar's dark complexion was similarly held up for ridicule in Indra Kumar's "Dil" 10 years ago.

Not much has changed in a particular area of commercial Hindi cinema. It continues to mock certain sections of people, and of course the audiences' intelligence.

"Koi Mere Dil Mein Hai" is one of those purportedly cute films that loses its sheen and shine in its journey from Hollywood to Bollywood. The music score by Nikhil-Vinay vandalises bits of "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai".

Director Deepak Ramsay has pulled a poor joke on Hogan's "My Best Friend's Wedding".

As for us, the much-harassed audience, when have we ever complained?