Mirza Juuliet Hindi Movie
Remember how Mirzya bombed? And yet, the filmmakers thought they could turn the story of doomed lovers into something novel. Yes, the outspoken, sassy, fearless sister of three goons (the eldest being Priyanshu Chatterjee as Dharamraj) Julie Shukla makes an entry by throwing a stone at a bus just because it did not stop for her. Now her cursing and her threats of bodily harm to whoever stands in her way is cute for five minutes. Pia Bajpai who plays this fearless small town gal Julie Shukla, is sister to three lawless brothers with political ambitions. To further their ambitions, they have arranged their sister's wedding to a creepy Ranjit Pandey (played like a buffoon by Chandan Roy Sanyal) the nephew to a scheming politician Pandeyji (Swanand Kirkire, what a waste of good talent).
Mirza (played by Darshan Kumar who seems desperate to show himself as 'hero', stripping off his shirt at every possible occasion), on the other hand is shown to be a childhood pal of Julie. He is a paid assassin whose last job was to kill the younger brother of politician Pandey (Ranjit Pandey's dad), and he's back in town to be with uncle and aunt. Julie literally throws him off the bus, and when she gets to know who he is (he's been missing from town for the last fifteen years), she pursues him relentlessly, plying him with questions like, 'Have you had sex?'
Now for a woman who threatens lovesick men with sodomy with a bamboo, who tells the tailor to tighten and shorten her clothes so she can look 'hot', sees her sisters-in-law display hickeys, hear her brothers ravish their wives, and still claims to not know anything about the birds and the bees seems too fake. But it gives the filmmaker an opportunity to include a sex scene where Mirza 'teaches' how gentle lovemaking can be.
While you ponder upon when the inevitable violent end of their love story because their religions are different and their backgrounds are different, the two lovebirds are shown to be wandering about carefree, without the brothers' goons not noticing anything until Julie gets drunk and yells at the goons to go inform whoever they worked for...
The story goes on and on and Ranjit the betrothed rapes Julie and her brothers try to hush it and Mirza gets into a fight with Ranjit, beats everyone up and then runs away into the Nepal sunset with Julie. You gather your things and get up to leave, when you realise that the story is not over. The brothers show up, there is a showdown and of course as the original story goes, both lovers are shot dead. Just that between the running away into the sunset and their deaths, it has taken at least three days and the horrendously slow pace of the events make you feel as though it were shot in real time, sans editing.