Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna Hindi Movie Review
KANK refuses to say Goodbye
Scene 1: 10:50 a.m.: It’s swelteringly hot where I stand, outside the only Cineplex in town showing Karan Johar’s much anticipated film Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna. I stand at the gate, muttering curses to myself and bearing the heat, waiting for the ticket counter to open. I look around myself. There are many families- Grannies, Grandpas, Mummies, Daddies and whining kids- all in tow, lots of guys and yet more giggly girls, all of whom I imagine, would have their noses buried in their handkerchiefs halfway through the film, sobbing as uncontrollably as they are laughing right now.
Most of the people around me complain about how they have been trying to see the film for days in vain. Which means KANK is in demand. And which is why I stand like an idiot in a huge crowd of eager faces, waiting here 40 minutes before the counter actually opens. As time ticks past, I gear up to face the music and chaos that will inevitably prevail once the counter opens.
Scene 2: 11:30 a.m.: I am still standing, though now in a more athletic position, ready to sprint through the gates. In a minute, the gates swing open- and before you can say Shahrukh Khan, there is a long queue before the counter. I am third in line, feeling quite heroic as all my schoolmates struggle to hand me their money, so that I can get them tickets. I become a hero, their ultimate beacon of hope, if only for some minutes. After much pulling and pushing, I emerge triumphant; a huge grin pasted on my face, with 4 tickets in hand- much to the chagrin of 11 of the 14 boys who gave me their money.
(Some time later)
Scene 3: Armed with packets of chips, popcorn and a “pepsicide”- we enter the hall. The cool air from the AC greets us, as we find our seats and finally get to sit. The CFBC certificate appears on screen, and written on it in huge, black letters is Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna- U/A. Whew.
Scene 4: Intermission. Myth shattered. This film is not primarily about infidelity. Nor is it all about loving your loving, as Ramgopal Varma would have us believe. Instead, the logic of the film goes something like this: God creates a special person- a soul mate for each of us to live our lives with- happily ever after, I presume.
So, what if you don’t try to look for your true life partner and instead, go for an arranged marriage or tie the knot with your best friend? You bump into your soul mate walking in the streets of New York or maybe even New Delhi and then have an extramarital affair, stupid. This obviously means many hearts broken, lots of tears spilt. I shudder at the thought- going by that, half the nation would be having extramarital flings.
Maybe that is why Karan hasn’t married yet. He’s patiently waiting for the umm, right person.
(Some years- sorry- hours later)
Scene 6: Finally, the End. After a second half that seemingly spans ages, the moment of truth arrives. Is this the new, improved Karan Johar? Yes and no. The subject matter is a marked departure from Karan’s earlier films, but the style- for most of the film- remains true-blue trademark Johar. So here, instead of K3G’s cricket match, we have soccer star Dev Saran scoring the winning goal for his team- tattoo on arm, a la Beckham. Huge houses, designer clothes, fancy parties, glitz, glamour, discotheques, and the works- name it and its there.
KANK’s look is a vast improvement from the rich, but somewhat gaudy looking K3G. The flamboyance is there, albeit with more visual finesse. New York looks gorgeous, as do the lead characters, but much of the credit for that must go to veteran cinematographer Anil Mehta who as always, does a great job here. The sleek picturization and choreography add some spice to Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy’s otherwise unexceptional songs.
Dev Saran is introduced to us as your typical SRK character- a smart, young, charming guy- always ready to help damsels in distress or provi