Celebrating the duds - Bollywood in 2010

Every year Bollywood churns out hundreds of movies and hundreds of them flop; only a handful of them get acceptance and are lauded by the viewers, and even fewer by the critics. Sometimes even the bad ones work at the box-office and nobody has any explanation for that, except maybe Sajid Khan as he manages to do that every time with his films (Heyy Babyy, Housefull). While the good ones will get felicitated at the multiple award ceremonies (the eternal optimist in me still believes in them a little bit); the bad ones are forgotten except by the financier or the distributor. This article is dedicated to the worst of Bollywood in 2010. Nobody really wants to make bad films or do bad work but maybe the filmmakers and actors learn something from these disasters.

Declaration: This column is the author's expression of the pains he suffered by watching poorly made films, badly enacted scenes and other forms of torture deployed by the Bollywood-wallahs this year. The author payed through his nose to watch these films at expensive multiplexes and thinks that it is his right to give back. Should you disagree, please read no further; if you agree, do share your views on the worst of Bollywood in 2010.

RGV Ki Aag Memorial Award for the Worst Film: and the nominees based on the author's personal views and a quick and dirty survey, are:

• Anees Bazmee's No Problem – Because the audience cannot be 'Welcomed' in 'No Entry' again and again


• Farah Khan's Tees Maar Khan – Because Khan Khan hota hai aur Kumar Kumar


• Mani Ratnam's Raavan – Because we had great expectations, Sir


• Anurag Basu's Kites – Because the controversy around the lead pair was more interesting than the film itself


• Leena Yadav's Teen Patti – Because you shouldn't try to make desi '21'


• Ken Ghosh's Chance Pe Dance – Because the dancing was so bad


• Sajid Khan's Housefull – Because in reality Mr. Khan it is NOT your Titanic and you can NEVER make Avatar (Sajid Khan had compared Housefull to Titanic and promised Avatar on Komal Nahta's show on ETC Channel)


• Priyadarshan's Aakrosh – Because if you can't get it right then should leave Prakash Jha to make such cinema

And the award goes to Farah Khan for Tees Maar Khan. Recognition for 'borrowing' the story-line of an old, Italian flick (After the Fox, 1966) and ruining it with jokes that are not funny and scenes that are just randomly put together. However, I must mention the only good thing in the film - Katrina's item song, 'Sheila Ki Jawani'.

Himesh & Upen Bhai Award for Worst Perfomance (Male):

Akshay Kumar for Action Replayy, because fake dentures and an ugly wig do not help in acting

Jiah & Koena Award for Worst Performance (Female)... because they're worth it:

Shared by Aishwarya Rai for Robot and Sonam Kapoor for Aisha... While the former topped the over-acting charts, the latter just thought about her clothes in the film (which, by the way were not bad at all)

Hashmi & Sherawat Award for the worst kiss:

Vivek Oberoi and Aruna Shields for Prince - It's Showtime...

Chandi Sona Chyawanprash Himmatwala Award:

Yash Chopra for re-re-launching son, Uday Chopra in Pyaar Impossible

The most boring film of the year:

Dev Benegal's 'Road, Movie' = 5 minute trailer, stretched into two hours

All style & no substance award:

Anjaana Anjaani; really wanted the lead characters to die in the film. They kept saying soo-cide soo-cide and bored the audience to death instead

Good intentions, poor execution award:

Rahul Dholakia's Lamhaa... the film had scenes about what's happening in Kashmir but the scenes together did not make a powerful film that made a point

Puracell Battery Award for the never ending film of the year:

Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Sey

Klean & Klear Award for blink-and-you-miss-it performance of the year:

Kangana Ranaut for Kites; so much was said about her doing a film opposite Hrithik but she had only three and a half scenes and appearance in two songs

Worst hair-do award:

Akshaye Khanna's wigs in Aakrosh, No Problem and Tees Maar Khan

Love is Supreme Award:

Abbas Tyrewala for making a film on his wife, Pakhi's script and also casting her as the heroine

Special mention for a wasted performance:

Sir Ben Kingsley in Teen Patti

Special mention by the Institute of Witchcraft and Wizardry:

Sabyasachi for Aishwarya Rai's costumes in Guzaarish

The most imaginative titles that still couldn't attract any audience:

Dunno Y... Na Jaane Kyon

Shahrukh Bola "Khoobsurat Hai Tu"

People for Ethical Treatment & Presentation of Animals' recognition for cruelty against humans:

Hisss

People for Ethical Treatment of Toons condemn:

Toonpur Ka Superhero

Bird Idol